Story Thus Far *promo*

31 Jul 2007 01:52 pm

     Average Rating: 4.75      
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Author Comments:

Data2048, 02 Aug 2007 09:45 pm

Uh, yeah

I'll redo this later... I have to post the Cover before I should post this... but oh well.

I need a manga colorer...

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User Comments:

JL (Guest), 27 Feb 2008 09:32 pm

Some Critique
I realize this page is very old. But I still want to point out some things. First of all, I see some spelling mistakes, ('praied' as an example, is spelled 'prayed').

However the mean thing I want to point out, is that this page was confusing, at first it talks about "the people" in third person, then it talks about them in first person. Then things get confusing, "We were forced to take his every word..." I can't figure out what you mean by that, were they enslaved? Or just watched?

Data2048, 27 Feb 2008 09:33 pm

-reply to JL-
Yeah... this is veeeery old.

I ended up changing a few things, so this page actually should be deleted...

tahulover96(not a guest!) (Guest), 01 Mar 2008 11:02 am

...
ok spelling mistake- you put 'learder' not 'leader'

Idene, 20 Mar 2008 10:31 pm

this is very cool so far!
Very very awesome looking!

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